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  • Sally Love

3am questions

Where do I stand in this world of motherhood?

In this swirling whirling world.

I dip my head into the dark room.

It’s velvety muffled edges envelope my question. Like mash potato in my ears.

Is there even a world that is real?

What is real?

I am doing my best.

So is she over there, shushing her crying babe in arms.

The look of pain in that woman’s eyes echo in the chamber of another’s heart.

We are all here, us mothers, in this world. The bird that has our wings reminds us that the fundamentals are the same though the words may sound different.

In this swirling whirling world, I sometimes feel that the knowledge, the wisdom is just out of my reach. My babies unknowingly release the knowledge I need through their growth. Through their innate wisdom that I forgot somewhere along the way. The way that they will also loose their wisdom and gain it back in their own growing down. Growing up and growing down. The cycle. The ebb and flow.

Sometimes I feel wiser and sometimes I feel like I knew less then before.

The dullness of an ego that knows nothing. Like a head in the snow, like ears full of mashed potatoes. An ego that doesn’t listen to the innate wisdom of the universe until the bottom, the rock bottom, is hit.

Diving in from above, and the growing down, as Plato explained thousands of years ago.

Rooting. Growing roots. Becoming a vine, spreading out and staying rooted to the earth.

A vine. I am a vine in the world of motherhood.

So many things and rooted to the earth.

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